As a retiree, when I look back at my life and reminisce with friends, it’s easy to focus on the negative. So for 2024, I’ve resolved to acknowledge and congratulate myself for things I did in the past.
There were many choices I took for granted that turned out to be wise decisions. They’ve brought me happiness, good fortune, transformative experiences, and valuable skills. I’m not perfect and I certainly have some regrets, but I’m proud of the person I’ve become. My younger self is a big reason for that.
Here are three things I’m so glad I did in my 20s and 30s:
1. I reveled in the beauty and abilities of my body
I’ve heard from many friends that they regret the time they spent in anguishing over their bodies. They worried about being too fat or too thin, that their breasts were too big or too small, or that their hair was too curly or too straight.
This was before the intense pressure that many young women get from social media nowadays to look a certain way — and to do things like injections and plastic surgery to achieve a false and unrealistic standard.
I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m proud of the person I’ve become.
Photo: Janet Blaser
I’m glad I was able to avoid that stereotypically American body shame. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I loved my body and rejoiced in it. My curly hair, my too-big smile, my strong and capable body, my unrestrained joie de vivre.
I was happy with myself, and looking back, I feel so fortunate that this was my experience.
2. I learned to cook
So many young people today don’t know their way around a kitchen and don’t own even the most basic implements to put a meal together at home.
My mother, a farm girl from Missouri, taught me how to cook and bake from scratch. Standing next to her in the kitchen, we made layer cakes and Christmas cookies, biscuits and gravy, and chicken noodle soup.
I had a great education about the ingredients, techniques and equipment required to make something delicious and sustaining for myself.
Even if you don’t cook that often, understanding food this way is a skill that opens up a world of culinary possibilities and experiences for the rest of your life, wherever you are and whatever you’re eating.
3. I had children and became a mother
Looking back, I wouldn’t trade having kids for anything.
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but I wouldn’t trade having kids for anything!
Photo: Janet Blaser
To be sure, there were many years of significant challenges. The tantrums, toilet training and all manner of math and science homework that was not in my wheelhouse. Then there were, and continue to be, the larger and more existential concerns, like being worried about their safety in a world that can be kind of a mess.
But I have never known love like the kind that I have for my children, and now I get to watch them develop into wonderful people with their own lives. I consider myself lucky because they have also become my friends.
Those troublesome toddlers develop into wonderful adults who share their lives with you.
Photo: Janet Blaser
For people in their 20s and 30s, my best advice is to love yourself more. Accept yourself as you are without judgment. Give yourself permission to experience life to the fullest.
Consider the expectations of others, but carefully weigh whether they benefit not just the person you want to be, but the person you are right now. Remember to be gentle with yourself, because we’re all just doing our best, and that is its own success.
Janet Blaser is a writer who has lived in Mazatlán, Mexico since 2006. A former journalist in California, her work now focuses on expat living. Janet’s first book, “Why We Left: An Anthology of American Women Expats” is an Amazon bestseller. Follow Janet on Instagram and Facebook.
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