“Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute …,” mourns Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia! as we drive along a dusty road lined with goats and olive trees to Kefalos beach. While glancing at my daughter – rosy cheeks, sun-kissed hair, phone in hand – I’m overwhelmed with emotion and tears start streaming down my face. “Mum, are you actually crying?” laughs Lola. “You’re so soft!” I have to pull over and compose myself. That song resonates deeply with me.
My girls, Lola and Nancy, are now 17 and in their first year of sixth-form college. Their lives revolve around friends and having fun, as they should. But, as I encourage their independence, I can’t help but worry that my role in their lives is shrinking. It’s been a tough few years with my separation from their father and their struggles with anxiety and depression. Last summer, I took all three of my kids on a trip to Rome, which was great, but it was hard to give each of them the individual attention they wanted. Twin sisters can be competitive, especially when it comes to attention.
I’ve learned that spending one-on-one time with each of my children is important for our relationship and their wellbeing. It seems my approach is not unique. Mum-and-daughter trips are becoming more popular among Lola’s friends. Last year, I took my 21-year-old son, Angus, on a work trip to Stockholm, and it brought us closer than ever.
Lola has always been fascinated by Greece since she saw Mamma Mia! when she was six. So, when I suggested a short getaway over Easter, Greece was at the top of her list. I booked a budget hotel in Kos Town, and soon we were living the Greek dream with the film’s soundtrack as our backdrop. Kos is a perfect destination for an off-season holiday. As the third largest island in the Dodecanese, it’s closer to Turkey than Athens and already warm in April. We quickly settled into a routine – I would wake up early and read on the balcony while Lola would sleep in and join me just in time for breakfast. We would spend our days exploring the town, shopping for souvenirs, and relaxing in charming cafes. We loved the vibrant atmosphere of Kos Town.
We divided our time between different beaches, discovering towns, and enjoying Greek cuisine in waterfront restaurants. We practiced our basic Greek phrases, and Lola got to see me as a person, not just her mother, enjoying the break. Without the distraction of her friends, Lola started opening up about her life. We talked about friends, boys, college, and I saw the world through her 17-year-old eyes. I waited for her to bring up our separation, ready to offer reassurance if needed, but it never came up. I’m not sure if I’m relieved by that or not.
On a short drive north of Kos Town, we found Thermes beach, a hidden gem where we soaked in mineral-rich thermal waters. Our favorite spot was Kefalos on the south-east coast, where we had the beach to ourselves and swam in the crystal-clear Aegean waters.
Holidays were different when my children were younger – focused on keeping them happy, fed, and entertained, my ex-husband and I constantly switching roles to get some rest. But now, my daughter and I chat like adults while sunbathing. It’s refreshing.
Lola, who is studying art history at A-level, takes pleasure in teaching me about the ancient ruins we explore, like the propylaeum, the altar of Kyparissis Apollo, and the first temple of Asclepius. Over dinner in a taverna, we have easy conversations about work, friends, and our quirky dog. Lola has strong opinions about everything from politics to K-pop. We bond over our shared love for Taylor Swift, and she eagerly tells me about her plans to attend the Reading festival this summer, though I do have some concerns. When a young waiter offers us ouzo on the house, she looks at me mischievously and encourages me to indulge, reminding me that she’s almost 18.
As we listen to “Slipping Through My Fingers” again, it becomes our inside joke, and she plays it just to make me cry. It’s the start of the season, so Bar Street – the party hub of Kos Town – is closed. I’m secretly relieved, but Lola is disappointed. To make it up to her, I treat her to her first cocktail at H2O, a scenic bar by the sea, as she excitedly talks about returning here after her A-levels to work.
During our time in Kos, I catch a glimpse of the adult Lola is becoming, and it fills me with joy to see her spread her wings. I hope these one-on-one trips – with each of my children – become an annual tradition. And yes, I wouldn’t mind picking up the bill. On the way back home, my exhausted daughter rests her head on my shoulder. She may be growing up, but I’ll always be here for a cuddle.