Relationship Advice: How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone? Expert Shares 12 Tips
It’s common for us to have recurring thoughts about a guy or lady when we’re attracted to them. It makes sense that we would want to spend all of our time with that individual.
Relationship Advice: How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone? Expert Shares 12 Tips
An obsession may be all-consuming, particularly when it involves someone you can’t have. It can negatively impact your daily life and can cause worry and sadness. When the sentiments are focused on a person who is not present or not reachable, this can be upsetting.
Licensed therapist Jessica Da Silva said, “Obsessive thoughts are repetitive, intrusive, and distressing. Although this a normal part of the human experience, if you find that it becomes persistent and disruptive, meaning it significantly impacts your daily life and well-being or puts others in an uncomfortable position, it’s advisable to seek help from a mental health professional to help you manage and alleviate these experiences.”
The therapist addresses issues like why is one obsessing over someone and how to stop that obsession.
WHY ARE YOU OBSESSING OVER SOMEONE?
- Anxious Attachment: Your desire for closeness or fear of rejection can lead to overthinking and preoccupation with the other person’s actions and intentions.
- Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: You might obsess over reasons to keep your distance or flaws to validate your feelings and needs.
- Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Your simultaneous desire for closeness and distance can cause much of the incessant confusion and conflict your experience.
HOW TO STOP OBSESSING OVER SOMEONE?
- Rather than fight your obsessive thoughts and feelings or suppress them altogether, practice acknowledging that they are there without judgement.
- It’s okay to have these intrusive experiences. However, if you don’t need to identify or react to it, remember it’s an experience you’re having and not who you are.
- What you feed grows, therefore limiting contact with the person you’re obsessing over. This includes avoiding social media stalking and minimizing interactions that might trigger your thoughts.
- Practice mindfulness techniques to help you stay present and reduce rumination. Focus on your breath sensations, or the immediate environment to anchor yourself in the present moment.
- When obsessive thoughts arise, challenge their accuracy. Ask yourself if your thoughts are based on facts or assumptions.
- Sometimes we can get carried away into fantasy or memories and therefore lose touch with the realities of the person or situation.
- Redirect your energy onto yourself. Set goals, learn new skills and work on becoming the best version of yourself.
- Take that person off the pedestal and remind yourself of what you bring to the table – Your strengths, values, passion, worth, capabilities.
- So many of us don’t give ourselves the credit or recognition we deserve undermining our worth and overestimating others.
- Lean on friends, family and mentors for emotional support. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can provide relief and perspective.
These ideas, which encourage partners to spend as much time together as possible to become closer, are what a good relationship genuinely depends on. These ideas and emotions develop into a greater level of respect, maturity, and commitment over time.
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