Name: Dating app job hunters.
Age: A few years old.
Appearance: The two worst things about being a human, combined at last.
That reminds me, I’m looking for work. Have you tried Tinder?
To find a job? Is that what Tinder is for? No, Tinder is for radicalising yourself against the opposite sex through prolonged immersion into their worst collective impulses. But I guess you could use it to try to find a job too.
Surely it doesn’t work? It absolutely does. A Wall Street Journal feature last week spoke to a woman named Grace, whose Hinge profile lists her ideal date-night activities as “going to tech conferences” and “initiating brand collaborations”.
Well, I’m certainly aroused. Don’t be! Grace was very clear that she only uses Hinge as a professional networking tool.
I don’t understand. Well, if you live in a community dominated by one industry (say, San Francisco for tech), then you’re likely to meet a bunch of people with the same job as you on dating apps. Once you’re connected, you can share insider news and job openings.
I guess that makes sense. And apparently it happens all the time. In January, a Twitter user went viral when he matched with a startup’s HR worker on Bumble, then began to talk employment with them, and ended up getting a job.
2023 is weird. It started earlier. In 2021, when the excitement of dating was cooled by the existence of a deadly global pandemic, dating apps were heralded as “germ-free” meeting places. A report from the same year found that 8% of British people had made successful networking contacts through their dating apps.
Isn’t this a minefield? Why? Because it blurs the line between the romantic and the professional in a manner that sounds like an absolute HR nightmare?
No, because some people might just be on these sites to get lucky. Well, that’s even better. You swipe a sexy stranger, start writing increasingly intimate messages and then ask about their workplace opportunities. They’ll be so confused that they’ll give you a job on the spot.
How ethically duplicitous. I’m joking. Tricking horny people into work decisions is definitely not on. This approach only really works if everyone is completely transparent about what they want.
And what do you want? I want to piggyback on the concept of love to find a job.
Do say: “Likes: long walks, romantic sunsets, competitive remuneration packages.”
Don’t say: “But darling, I only downloaded the app to initiate brand collaborations, I promise!”