If not sure whether you are a people pleaser or just extremely kind to others? Here’s a look at some signs and ways to break free from people pleasing trap.
Considering other people’s feelings and treating them with kindness is something we should all strive to do. But sacrificing our well-being to make others happy is not. Being a people pleaser is a common tendency, but it generally goes beyond simple kindness. You might go out of your way to do things for the people in your life, based on what you assume they want or need. You give up your time and energy to get them to like you.
Well, if still not sure if you are a people or just extremely kind to others? Here’s a look at some telltale signs of people pleasing.
SIGNS OF A PEOPLE PLEASER
- Brain Fog: Feel like you can’t formulate a sentence to state your opinions? Can’t make decisions? Lost for words? When you fawn, you lose full access to the rational and logical part of your brain, making it hard to speak up for yourself or think clearly.
- Struggle With Authenticity: People pleasers often have a harder time recognising how they feel. Continuing to push your own needs to the side makes it harder to acknowledge them. Eventually, you might not even feel sure about what you want or how true you are to yourself.
- Low Self-Esteem: People pleasers often deal with low self-esteem and draw their self-worth from the approval of others. Most of the time, you may need praise from people to feel appreciated and good about yourself.
- Stress And Burnout: One huge impact of people-pleasing is increased stress. This can easily happen when you take on more than you can handle for others. When you spend less time with yourself then you end up feeling more stressed and burnout.
- Feeling guilty: You feel guilty when you establish boundaries. This is because you don’t want to disappoint the other person. It is very hard for you to say no in such situations.
WAYS TO BREAK FREE FROM PEOPLE PLEASING TRAP
Breaking free from a people-pleasing pattern involves self-awareness and intentional changes. Here are couple of tips to overcome this behaviour.
- Prioritise self-care by scheduling activities that nourish your emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being. Regularly check in with yourself ‘How I am feeling, What do I need?” Remember that self-care is essential for everyone.
- Not everyone’s opinions matter equally. Differentiate whose opinion truly matters to you. While it’s natural to want to please loved ones, you don’t need to treat everyone equally. Focus on maintaining healthy relationships and compromise when necessary.