Margie and Gary* couldn’t have children of their own but they had love and a safe place to offer — so they became foster carers.
Across 30 years of fostering in the Northern Territory and South Australia, the couple have provided emergency accommodation and respite for more than 300 children in child protection.
Margie said the most rewarding aspect of fostering is watching children’s confidence blossom with some love and nurturing.
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She remembers one family of three children who were frightened of making noise and would only play under the bed when they first arrived in her care.
“You would see their little legs hanging out from under the bed, they didn’t want to get into trouble or they didn’t want to be noisy,” Margie said.
“(It) took us ages to coax them out here in the family room with the toy boxes.”
After earning their trust, Margie saw all the children just wanted someone to love them.
“They’ll come to sit on your knee to watch TV, or sit really close while you’re playing cards … that’s the lovely part,” she said.
Margie and Gary keep in touch with many of the children they cared for. Some still visit them or contact them.
Known as “Nan and Pops”, the Yorke Peninsula-based couple consider the children they looked after as their extended family.
Margie said it was fulfilling to hear of the children’s life-achievements and knowing she played a role in that journey.
She said one teenager called her after getting her first A-grade at school for cooking.
“She was always very anxious but she loved cooking, so we’d cook with her here,” Margie said.
“It was the first A she’d ever got in her life, so she was so excited.”
More carers needed to offer children love and safety
Margie and Gary are part of the South Australian government’s “Foster The Feeling” campaign to encourage more people to consider foster caring.
“It’s such a rewarding experience to give back to your community,” Margie said.
“These kids, they deserve equal chances in life. It’s an absolutely worthwhile thing to do.”
Currently, 4800 young people are in child protection in South Australia with about 4100 of them in foster homes.
Child Protection Minister Katrine Hildyard said 700 children were in residential care, but many would benefit from having a foster home.
“One in three children in South Australia are at some point in contact with the child protection and family support system,” Hildyard said.
“And among those children, there are some who are facing absolutely heartbreaking circumstances, just devastating circumstances.
“When there is a child who has gone through that trauma, who can’t safely live at home, one of the most important roles that can be played is those incredibly generous foster carers who decide they will play that caring role, that they will provide that home environment, they will provide that nurture and care.
“(It) is life-changing. It can change the trajectory of a child’s life.”
Adelaide-based neuropsychology and business marketing student Jess* spent several of her early teenage years in care.
She said having the stability and support of a safe home helped her thrive.
“They provide so much love and support, and they go into that role probably not realising how much they can change a child’s life,” she said.
“It allowed me to thrive in areas of my school and to develop and maintain friendships.
“It was their encouragement and having an adult to believe in you and to encourage you along your way.”
The challenges
Margie and Gary adopted two children, who came into their care when they were babies, but still continued to offer short-term fostering.
Margie said people sometimes ask what’s the point of fostering if the children will return to their biological families rather than be adopted into their own family.
Her response is that a foster carer should be an advocate for the best interest of the child, and a child’s best interest is to reunified with their biological parents when possible.
“We’re their advocates and we care for them and nurture them but you still you know we’re not their mum and dad,” Margie said.
“They’ve got a mum and dad, and mum and dad are working hard to be able to get their children.
“The children are always so excited to see their mum and dad, or their nana or their sisters or cousins and uncles.”
Margie said when it was time for children to return home, she “trusted” it was because their biological parents had made positive changes to their lives.
If a child raised concern about the reunification, foster carers can relay this to the department to help them “build a wider picture” of what was happening in the family, she said.
The most challenging part is helping children when they first arrive at Margie and Gary’s home.
“When the kids come into care, we stay in their room and just hold their hand at night while they go to sleep and put music on,” Margie said.
“Depending on how traumatised or how unsettled they were, you just put a pillow and a blanket on the floor and just be next to them so that they weren’t frightened.
“A lot of children hadn’t had showers or baths, so that was quite foreign to them. (We) just ease that process, making it fun in the bath with bubbles and toys … it’s just little things.”
Hildyard said throughout the foster care process, training is provided to help families navigate the challenges.
“There is a lot of training that is focused on how you can best respond to the trauma and trauma-related behaviours,” she said.
“There is ongoing support from the department and from foster care support agencies to provide information, further training to connect carers with other carers.
“We’ve recently established a carers’ council so that I can hear directly from carers about what we can improve.”
What’s required?
There are different types of fostering.
Emergency care is an overnight stay or placement of up to two weeks, short-term care is a placement of two weeks to two years, and long-term care is a placement of a child until they are 18 or 21..
There’s also respite care for one weekend a month, one week in the school holidays or an overnight stay to provide relief for other carers.
People interested in foster caring can attend an information session through a registered provider.
Provider Anglicare said on top of completing all the required training, foster carers will need to provide working with children checks for everyone in the home older than 18 as well as regular visitors to the home.
Information about the carers’ family history and the history of regular visitors to the home is necessary.
A map of the home, holiday home and yard is required, as well as a GP report of emotional, mental and physical capacity to provide foster care.
Once through the assessment stage, a caseworker will visit the new carers’ home for safety checks and to help complete paperwork.
Anglicare said once all the required training is done, there are usually eight in-person visits and approval to become a foster carer can take between three and six months.
Foster cares get paid for their efforts, although Margie and Gary stressed anyone interested should not do it for the money.
Since January 2022, the fortnightly pay for caring for a child 0 to 4 years old is $413.
Carers of children aged 5 to 12 receive $452.60 per fortnight, and $629.60 for 13 to 15-year-olds.
“I really encourage people who have ever had that feeling in their heart, in their mind, that they want to contribute to a child’s life this way, that they find out more,” Hildyard said.
Margie and Gary recommend anyone with “love in your heart … a home” to consider fostering.
“All children deserve to be loved and cared for,“ Margie said.
More information about foster can be accessed through the state government website.
* Surnames withheld for privacy reasons