Dating can be a lot of things, especially in 2023. Scary, overwhelming, time-consuming, sure, but it can also be exciting and lively and add a dash of “do it for the plot” energy to your day-to-day. As per Pew Research, 3 out of 10 US adults say they’ve used a dating site or app, meaning that a lot of people utilize online resources to spice up their love lives. But how do you know which one is right for you? “Dating apps can feel super overwhelming, so I would say start with one or two that you feel like you connected with,” says Greta Tufvesson, cofounder of matchmaking service The Bevy. “But do your research because it does become a lot of work.”
Here, we break down some of today’s top dating apps, with advice from Tufvesson about how to find not only the right app but also the right person along the way.
For the Long-Term
While not every dating app will lead you to your future spouse, some will give you better odds than others. Tufvesson recommends eHarmony, Hinge, and The League for pursuing a more serious relationship; all three vary in price, but Tufvesson points out that those willing to pay for premium subscriptions tend to be more serious about finding potential partners through that app. “It’s a little bit of luck and a little bit of timing,” she says. “It’s like shopping in the largest department store and trying to narrow it down because you only have $100 to spend—which is why I say start small and then move from there.”
It also helps to try to shift from endless swiping on these apps to action-based objectives. Once you’ve exchanged some messages and feel comfortable with a person you’ve matched with, try to meet up in person for a first date and test the chemistry. Dating is supposed to be fun, but that aspect can get lost while sifting through profiles. “Everything we do is through technology, so when you get out there in front of a person, it doesn’t feel like work,” Tufvesson says. “I feel like text dating is work. When you’re face to face with someone, it’s going to feel so much less like a job or a chore. It’s going to feel like you’re present and you’re doing something in real life.”
For the Short-Term
Not everyone is looking for a long-term partner, and that’s more than okay. If you’re searching for safe, consensual, and enjoyable sex with an occasional hookup buddy or simply a one-night stand, dating apps most certainly have you covered. Tufvesson recommends some familiar names, like Tinder and Bumble, but she also suggests Feeld, a dating app dedicated to ethical nonmonogamy, polyamory, casual sex, and swinging.
When seeking out casual, short-term hookups, it pays to be a little flexible. “I’m finding more and more that people are so focused on their checklist,” says Tufvesson. “You have to stop focusing on the past, the future, and everything in between. You have to focus on the now.”
For the LGBTQ+ Community
While apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have options for their queer users, others cater specifically to the LGBTQ+ community. Beyond, Her, and Grindr are all worth considering, according to Tufvesson. On Beyond, a newer platform, you can create a profile as an individual or a polyamorous couple and explore the dating pool based on specific interests, relationship types, and sexual orientation. It also has users state their intentions from the outset to offer a more straightforward dating-app experience. Despite its name, Her is a platform for users of all backgrounds and identities—including those who are lesbian, bisexual, queer, nonbinary, trans, and gender nonconforming. There’s even a friend option for people looking for meaningful connections in a more platonic sense. And while Grindr is especially popular with men, it’s open to all gay, bisexual, trans, and queer people. The platform helps users to connect in whatever way they choose—whether they’re looking for something long-term, casual, or out of the box.