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Oscar-winning actor Regina King opened up about the death of her son for the first time in an emotional interview with “Good Morning America.”
During the interview that aired Thursday, King reflected on the death of her son, Ian Alexander Jr., more than two years ago. Alexander Jr. died by suicide in January 2022 at the age of 26.
“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way. And they expect it to look heavy,” King told “GMA’s” Robin Roberts.
Fighting back tears, King continued, “To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand, you know, that he didn’t want to be here anymore.”
She added, “That’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
King told Roberts she was initially “angry at God” over her son’s death.
“I was so angry with God,” she said. “Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, with psychiatrists and programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom.’”
Acknowledging that she’s still grieving two years later, the “Watchmen” star said she feels like a “different person” now.
Emma McIntyre via Getty Images
“I’m a different person now than I was on Jan. 19 [before Alexander died],” she said. “Grief is a journey. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go. I know that it’s important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present, because he is always with me, and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
She said even now she still battles with “guilt” over his death.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine.”
The “Boondocks” actor then admitted “the sadness will never go away,” adding, “It’ll always be with me.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Roberts revealed King made a touching tribute to Alexander (who would frequently attend award shows with his mom) at the 96th Academy Awards earlier this week by sporting an orange dress — his favorite color — to the ceremony.
Watch the interview below.