How have you maintained an optimism throughout this experience?
I have always preferred joy and optimism—it takes much more energy to be pessimistic!—and I didn’t want to live a life of crying, pain, struggle, and difficulty. I wanted a happy story, and I was set on finding that. It was hard and sometimes I lost hope, but over the years, I learned that we can shape our own stories—even in the toughest times. That belief kept me going then and still does. I still try to remember who I want to be—and have even gotten some tattoos to remind myself of what I went through and what I learned. Lessons I was fortunate to learn and never want to forget.
How the writing process was an aid in your recovery?
It was an intriguing process to write the book. After I committed to it, I finished most of it in a matter of weeks. The hardest part was the contextual details that took almost two years—because they were very personal, and I had to be emotionally ready to delve into my life—my past and even my present. Deciding what was interesting and relevant to the story required a lot of introspection (writing and revising!), especially because I wanted my words to express that I am sharing what I learned–not pretending to be “enlightened”—just hoping to help others.
What’s been the most surprising outcome of this journey?
I never expected my book to reach anyone beyond my close friends and family, so the book’s success was a huge surprise. Moreover, the diversity of people who have contacted me—who have even made changes in their lives because they felt encouraged and motivated by my story—was beyond my wildest dreams. I have heard from 80-year-old grandmothers in Florida, teenagers with social anxiety, and executives in their 40s-50s who have never spoken about their challenges. I am amazed and delighted by how much sharing my difficulties, achievements, and insights has helped others. I even give keynotes, run workshops, and offer life coaching now because people want to connect and apply these messages and learnings to their lives and careers.
What has been the feedback of sharing your story?
Every time I share the story, or hear from a reader, or speak at an event, I am amazed by how many strangers approach me and tell me their stories and how they feel empowered or encouraged by mine. Sometimes they will follow up weeks later and tell me they are still reflecting on the story, and it has improved them for the better, made them more resilient and compassionate to themselves and others. That feedback is especially meaningful because the story is very personal; the details I reveal about my life are private, and knowing that my friends, colleagues, and strangers have so much more insight into me than I have into them feels quite odd.