Last week, I had the pleasure of spending time with the person I’ve been seeing on the beach. In the summer of 2023, he asked me a question that undoubtedly sparked excitement in my heart: “Would you like to watch the Barbie movie together?” Naturally, as a woman, I eagerly agreed. It had been a while since I had gone on a movie date, and I was thrilled to experience a little nostalgic romance with my adult crush. Now, I understand if you believe that going to see Barbie is a sacred ritual exclusively for women or individuals who embrace femininity. However, I’ve never had a large circle of female friends, not because I long for attention but because I simply possess a slightly off-putting personality. Besides, if an attractive doctor invites you to see Barbie, you simply can’t refuse.
More importantly, this movie presented an opportunity to gauge a man’s reaction and obtain crucial information. It would reveal whether he harbors secretly sexist views and possesses fragile masculinity that can be threatened by a film about a doll. Of course, the loud and proud Fox News types have already made it evident that they feel deeply unsettled and angered by this movie. Presumably, they despise its depiction of a society where women are not victims of patriarchy. Moreover, the movie humorously highlights the weaknesses of the underlying logic, ethos, and “masculinity” upheld by patriarchy. If you happen to be dating one of these men, taking him to see the Barbie film won’t provide any new insights. I can only imagine that he has already expressed his sentiments about Barbie and what she represents with utmost clarity. In that case, I wish you the best of luck, my friend.
However, for the average straight guy who means well but may not have deeply considered his internalized misogyny or recognized the ways in which he benefits from women’s subjugation, the Barbie movie serves as a perfect litmus test. While the film has received some valid criticism for oversimplifying feminism (let’s remember it is, after all, about a doll, so let’s manage our expectations), it remains an ideal source of education for almost every non-vocal sexist straight man. These are the individuals who identify as “feminist” in the sense that they don’t actively hate women and believe in their rights but couldn’t possibly name important figures like Mary Wollstonecraft. If you align with this type of man, one who thrives under patriarchy without truly pondering its implications because, well, you’re a man and don’t have to, the Barbie movie has the potential to make you uncomfortable. Barbie presents two concepts that rarely cross the mind of your average, well-intentioned yet not particularly well-informed man: (1) A world devoid of patriarchy, which may unsettle a man who benefits from it and hasn’t realized how reluctant he might be to let it go. (2) The ongoing suffering of women and other non-cisgender men under this system, a reality that men often ignore or dismiss. Your average guy, with good intentions but lacking awareness, tends to believe we already live in Barbieland. Not necessarily in the empowering sense of “Women rule, boys drool,” but in the belief that women can vote, have jobs, and possess bank accounts—a world where men don’t consciously desire to enslave us. Hence, they conclude that we have achieved equality. However, Barbie shatters this illusion by presenting a clear and easily digestible message: we don’t yet live in such a world. This realization can be uncomfortable for a man who has never contemplated the suffering experienced by the women around him, a burden that results from a system in which he, albeit unintentionally, thrives. While some men might take this opportunity for self-reflection, it’s no secret that many of them will become defensive, dismissing the Barbie movie as man-hating propaganda from overdramatic feminists who fail to recognize our supposedly equal status.
When we arrived at the crowded theater, our original plan for some discreet intimate activity had to be abandoned. Instead, we watched and enjoyed the movie like adults. I anxiously awaited my crush’s response to the movie’s bold and unapologetic message: “Hey, guess what? Patriarchy is real, harmful, and still prevalent!” To my overwhelming relief and delight, he embraced the film wholeheartedly. I believe he derived even more enjoyment from the Barbie movie than I did, and I undoubtedly had a fantastic time. He laughed at every joke, which was particularly entertaining because he hadn’t already been exposed to the internet-obsessed culture surrounding memes. Moreover, he wasn’t offended by the movie’s accurate and intentionally exaggerated criticism of traditional masculinity or the fact that Barbie wasn’t infatuated with Ken. His response was simply, “Awh, he loves her!” In summary, he understood the movie’s message, didn’t overthink it, enjoyed it, and, in the process, confirmed himself as the respectful and non-toxic man I cautiously believed he was. Is the bar set rather low? Yes, it definitely is. Does this realization make me want to marry him and express our love with a movie theater hand job? Honestly, yes, it does. In conclusion, if you have a man in your life, be aware that a seemingly innocent Barbie movie date can conveniently (or perhaps devastatingly) test his tolerance for feminism. Consider yourself warned.