Name: Toxic people.
Age: They can be any age.
Appearance: They can look like anyone.
Then how am I supposed to know who they are? You might recognise the type: narcissistic, selfish, scheming, endlessly critical.
I see you’ve met Cheryl. Who’s Cheryl?
My boss. I wasn’t referencing anyone specific; just the toxic people we tend to have toxic relationships with.
Why would anyone do that? The point is, you shouldn’t – toxic relationships can shorten your life.
Says who? The former world’s oldest person, Maria Branyas Morera.
Former? You mean someone older turned up? No, she died.
That makes more sense. At the age of 117.
Wow. A good innings. Yes, and she attributed her longevity to, among other things, “staying away from toxic people”.
She was lucky she didn’t work in my office, although she probably retired, like, 50 years ago. She definitely had a point: while maintaining social relationships is good for mental health, “interpersonal stress” can be a factor in depression, high blood pressure and obesity.
How does that happen? No one is certain, but it could be that the stress caused by exposure to toxic people triggers long-term activation of the brain’s conserved transcriptional response to adversity (CTRA), leading to chronic inflammation and adrenal fatigue.
So I’m not gonna make it to 117? Not unless you detoxify.
What do I have to do? You can set boundaries around your toxic relationships, changing the way you react to them.
I tried that with Cheryl and she was all, like, “second written warning”. Or you can simply cut all the toxic people out of your life.
But apart from my boss, I don’t really know anyone toxic. You know what they say.
No, what do they say? That if you can’t identify the toxic person in your friendship group, then the toxic person is you.
Me? Toxic? It’s a possibility worth considering. Does it sometimes seem as if your friends are avoiding you?
No, it doesn’t. Stop gaslighting me! Just what a toxic person would say.
You’re the toxic one, and I’m avoiding you. I avoided you first.
Do say: “Diet and exercise are important, but good relationships are the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling life.”
Don’t say: “Just out of interest, how long do toxic people live?”