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What is Ghostlighting, A Grim New Dating Trend That is Making People More Anxious?
Ghostlighting has emerged as a troubling dating trend in the GenZ world, posing risks to the mental health of individuals in relationships. Dating in the digital age is not as easy as a simple click, as finding partners online through apps or social media platforms like Instagram has become increasingly common. However, along with the usual digital concerns such as catfishing and scams, GenZ now faces a new problem – ghostlighting.
Ghostlighting is when a person ghosts their partner and then gaslights them when they reappear, offering excuses for their sudden disappearance. Ghosting refers to cutting off all communication suddenly, leaving the person on the receiving end in a state of confusion. Gaslighting, on the other hand, involves manipulative lying to make someone doubt their own judgment.
Dr. Carolyn Rubenstein, a licensed psychologist in Florida, explains that ghostlighting involves the person returning but refusing to take responsibility for the ghosting. Instead, they manipulate the partner, creating insecurity and doubt. This manipulation is especially prevalent among individuals in their 20s and 30s. While some encounter ghostlighters on dating apps, others discover them in long-distance relationships.
Ghostlighting can have a significant impact on mental health, leading to self-doubt and anxiety. Dr. Rubenstein suggests that anxiety often drives people to ghost others, thinking it is a kinder way to end a relationship. In cases of gaslighting, the person may be manipulative and unkind, possibly displaying narcissistic traits. This behavior may stem from previous failed relationships or an inability to genuinely connect with others.
According to psychiatrist Austin Fernandes, ghostlighting is a frustrating and emotionally delicate process that can have significant psychiatric implications. Inconsistent communication and vague explanations create feelings of confusion and doubt, leaving the individual in a constant state of anticipation and instability. This uncertainty can lower self-esteem and confidence, as individuals question their worth and desirability. Rejection and unmet emotional needs can lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety, as well as trust issues that can impact future relationships.
To address the challenges posed by ghosting, open communication and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals are crucial. It is important to understand that every action and step in a relationship can impact the mental health of a partner.