The prosecution: Sade
I know I’m perennially late but by changing the clocks, Fatima makes me feel infantilised
My good friend and housemate Fatima changed the clocks in our flat without telling me, putting them forward 20 minutes. At first I thought, “What a violation.” But on reflection it was probably not the worst thing to do.
It’s true that I’m often chronically late. I always think I have more time to get ready than I actually do, and end up being 20 minutes late for everything. Once I had a hospital appointment and was running late, so I asked Fatima to drive me. She was pretty annoyed, as she was working from home that day. But I knew that I would miss it otherwise, and with NHS waiting lists I couldn’t take the risk. I was lucky she bailed me out, and I was very grateful.
But after that, she went in to my phone settings to change the time, and then changed the clocks all over the flat. I didn’t notice for a week. Was I more on time that week? It was a smoother week, with less drama. I had a train to take to another city for a work event and I made it with no problems. However, I think I would have made it even if Fatima hadn’t changed the clocks.
I rumbled Fatima’s ruse when someone in a cafe asked me the time. When I told them, they said, “I think you’ve got that wrong.” I felt so stupid. I came home and noticed the kitchen clock and asked Fatima if she’d changed the time. She said she had. I was so confused, and felt infantilised.
If I’m the one who is supposed to be benefiting from this big time change, then I’d simply like to be informed. Fatima should have given me a heads-up. Going into my phone settings is also a bit weird. I know we’re mates, but if that was anyone else, I would have got seriously annoyed. Fatima says that if she’d told me what she was doing it would have defeated the purpose of it, but I don’t think so. She also said I should be grateful. I laughed at that. I want her to change the clocks back in our house but she’s dragging her heels and says it will benefit me to keep them as they are. It’s all a bit silly now.
The defence: Fatima
Sade hasn’t changed all the clocks back. I think on a subconscious level she knows it actually helps her
Sade is perpetually late, so I decided to take drastic measures by changing all the clocks in our house, and also the time on her phone, to make them read 20 minutes ahead of the actual time.
Sade thinks it’s a violation, but I had to do it after she almost missed a hospital appointment and made me take time off work to drive her there. So I changed the time on her phone when she was in the shower. I also changed the time on our microwave and the kitchen clock.
It worked well for a few weeks. Sade had an important work event she had to take the train to, and to my delight she was on time for it. I’ve seen her miss so many trains for work in the past, so this was for her own good.
Sade is always rushing around, and has done so for as long as I’ve known her. It doesn’t affect me too much usually, but we do socialise together and in the past she’s showed up half an hour late to a restaurant with no excuse. Also, she relies on me to give her a lift to compensate for being late, which can grate.
When Sade found out I’d changed all the clocks, she said it wasn’t cool. But our friends agree that it was a good kick up the backside for her, and it’s helped her be on time for more things. Her mum even thanked me when she found out. Sade said she would have just liked to know, as she wasn’t “living in the real world” with the clocks being 20 minutes fast. But I don’t think she was living in the real world when she was always arriving late for everything either.
She only found out what I’d done a few weeks ago, when someone asked her the time in a cafe, and then told her her phone clock was wrong. She said the whole thing has made her look stupid, so she changed her phone back to the real time. But I haven’t changed the kitchen clock or the microwave back. It encourages her to get a move on. Sade thinks we should change them back but she hasn’t bothered to do it herself. I think on a subconscious level she’s not opposed to it, as it may actually help her.
The jury of Guardian readers
Is Fatima right to raise the alarm on Sade’s terrible time-keeping?
Fatima is not Sade’s mum and Sade is not a child. If she wants her friend to change her ways and learn not to be always late, putting the clocks forward won’t help.
Laura, 29
Fatima should stop running around after Sade when she’s late as it’s only encouraging her bad habits; Sade would then have to step up and take responsibility for her own time-keeping.
Lucy, 49
I can see how Sade feels infantilised – but surely the benefit of being on time outweighs the cost of feeling slightly babied by Fatima. If Sade doesn’t want Fatima’s interventions, then I think she needs to stop relying on Fatima to bail her out when things go wrong.
Adam, 32
I was tempted to do this for my children, when they were younger. But then I remembered my housemate did it to me at university and I was an hour early for a seminar – and extremely cross. And going into a phone is a no-no. So, guilty.
George, 65
Fatima is guilty: not only does this feel like quite a sly and sneaky thing to do, it’s simply not Fatima’s place to make Sade on time; nor is it her responsibility.
Anna, 34
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: should Fatima keep her hands off the clock?
The poll closes on Thursday 2 May at 10am BST
Last week’s result
We asked whether Layla should join sister Mina and adopt a zero tolerance policy with her politically incorrect brother.
9% of you said Layla is guilty – she needs to back up her sister
91% of you said Layla is not guilty – Mina should let Layla pick her battles